Below are the 6 most recent journal entries recorded in filkfan's LiveJournal:

Saturday, January 22nd, 2005
9:49 am	I love the cold weather. I moved to Atlanta from Florida just so I could have some cold weather in my life. I love all the parts of cold weather. There is the exhilaration I feel when my breath smokes out from my lips first thing in the morning and the comfort of being warm when the world is cold. I love the idea that the cold is outside and not inside. The final thing about cold is that I like it when the cold is just physical and not inside my heart. I love being here in colder weather because I have people here who warm my soul just by being. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, January 16th, 2005
10:21 am	The wonder of life is that it is. No matter what else may be said of your life, the fact that you are around to say it at all makes it miraculous. I have given some serious thought to life, the universe, and everything in the last few weeks, and I have discovered an old truth. Life means nothing all alone. It is only as it is used that life acquires meaning. A person who goes through (pronoun that means his or her=hir) hir life without making any decisions past necessity- who goes through without taking any chances- that person's life has very little meaning. It is only through the exercise of challenge that we can make meaning, because meaning means intent, and intent is only formed when meeting a challenge. As I sit here and watch my own thoughts ramble around, I realize that I haven't taken the chances I have needed to take. I haven't said what I needed to say for fear of rejection, and I haven't done what I needed to do for fear of making a mistake. By my own definition, then, I have given my life no meaning. As I read this over, I sound like a whiner. My life is meaningful- I do work that needs to be done and I think I do it well. It is just that it feels like I could do more. This is food for long winter thought sessions by a roaring fire with a warm cat and a cup of hot tea. Current Mood: thoughtful (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, January 13th, 2005
11:11 pm	I need to explain that I am not really such a sour puss as this journal seems to be developing me to be. I think that the world is mostly a good place to be and that life is good. The only thing is that good things happening are not very interesting. The smile of a kid who has mastered a skill finally after tears and sweat is a wondrous thing. I wrote a song (okay, I wrote the lyrics to a song someone else wrote the tune for) about dreaming of flying. I really enjoy the idea of free flight and have spent many a wonderful night lost in the dream of open skies. In real life I can't stand heights, but in my imagination I can bravely look at the ground so far away and see its beauty instead of its danger. The song is filled with a longing that strikes a note for almost everyone. I love the colors of the day. The reds and blues of the sky are easily the best sights to be seen any where. Fresh greens of new life are so full of the promise of the future that they can catch my eyes and hold them for hours. Current Mood: pensive (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 12th, 2005
11:32 pm	I sometimes wonder exactly what it is that I can do to make the world a better place. I want to make a difference in a big way--world peace or cure cancer, stuff like that. But I just don't have the firepower to do those things. I am going to have to make my difference one child at a time. Special education should be special and not inferior. So many of my peers seem to think that my kids are never going to be able to make a positive impact in life, but I know in my soul these kids can be truly special. When did it become all about short term gains and not about over all education? The whole thrust of educational politics is to make higher scores on arbitrary tests that are administered at arbitrary times having nothing to do with instruction. A kid who takes too long to catch on is just SOL, even if his name is Einstein. I am having to try to teach a kid who doesn't really want to live to do long division. This seems to be a skewed priority. Individual children are my entire reason for being in education. Maslow's hierarchy tells us that some children have legitimate reasons to be left behind, but for some reason, research is not an acceptible excuse unless the research supports a politically correct version of reality. Having a point of view different from the norm is unacceptible any more. I am getting discouraged. Well. Now I feel better. I am going to go to work tomorrow and help a difficult kid learn how to read enough to pass. I am going to help a young man figure out how to succeed in school so he can succeed in life. I am going to try to help a young girl accept herself as a worthwhile human being no matter what she has learned in her abusive toddlerhood. I am going to do these things because I know how to, and because this is my way of helping to make world peace. I believe that assessment is important. I just believe that assessment should not be overwhelmingly intrusive in a child's educational year. I don't think that a one shot test should have make or break power over a child. It should be used in conjunction with all the other measurable events in a normal school year. Of course, no one asked my opinion. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 11th, 2005
8:31 pm	Okay. Why is it all right for anyone else to say that we need to teach standard English usage to our black students and not for me to say it? I am having a little crisis of my own in this tiny world of education. I have received a written reprimand for telling a child that we don't use Ebonics in school, we use standard English. Frankly, I didn't know that Ebonics was a forbidden phrase, and I thought that teaching English was part of my job. Today, in a meeting of fifth grade teachers, another teacher mentioned that our students don't know standard English but speak ghetto instead. Everyone but me laughed, including the person who had turned me in as racially insensitive. Is it more sensitive to call it ghetto-speak than to call it Ebonics? I think I am getting old. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, January 10th, 2005
5:56 pm	I spent the weekend at Gafilk and was once again overwhelmed by the talent and the generosity of the filker community. I sit at the registration table all day, so everyone at the con came to speak to me at least once. I love that. There were only about a hundred or so close friends who came this year. That is a really good size group to be amongst. Anyone who is a singer, real or only inside your own head, ought to consider going to Gafilk. (I know the registrar. I can get you in for only $30 if you pre-reg, and $50 at the door). I'll try to keep this up to date. Current Mood: mellow (Comment on this)